MY FATHER’S WEDDING DAY
When my father died, I went away. I travelled, wandered. I have returned to my home, his home, my grandfather’s house.
There I saw today between the baking oven and the wood pile close to the worm-eaten milk cart the wood block lying – a barkless piece of trunk, elongated, curved, with crosswise notches from an axe.
I felt deserted by my father when I saw that block of wood.
Men that limp, wobble when they walk, or move at a slant, or drag with one leg –
their sons are often pigheaded. Doing what you feel like, is that rather like limping?
Men that limp leave curious tracks behind.
On a journey, in Bhutan, I once saw huge men – with bird masks, with pig’s snouts, with dog’s teeth, dancing, dancing in a circle on one sore leg.
They’re doing what they feel like. Those dog’s teeth say so much!
I grew up without dog’s teeth. My body was intact – I never left any tracks.
I could walk when I was eleven months, not a trace of a limp – not a single infirmity.
If a man wants to stop limping, other things start going awry. The blue vase falls off the table at the slightest breath of wind. The walls crack. The car breaks down.
Strange how that block of wood made me think of my father.
Since he died, everyone says I look like him. Before his death nobody ever said I looked like my father.
On his wedding day he limped into the room. He leant on a stick so that no one tried to offer him a shoulder to lean on. He wobbled, but stayed upright. He did what he felt like. He did things his own way.
Strange how those huge dancing men in Bhutan made me think of my father.
He came limping into the room. It was a simple wedding, three people – my father, the bride and me. There was coffee and cake, lots of stories, little talking – we did not understand each other, my father, his bride, and me.
No one called for attention, no one picked up a book, no one said something biblical or prophetic. The bride stepped forward and stood next to my father.
When it was all over, I took him in my arms – for the first time, for the last time.
After that he was alone, and I was alone. After that there was only my grandfather’s house.
It’s a lie – never has anyone said I look like my father. Never.
· Essays · Toneel |
Joris Iven |