Leeg

Joris Iven

MONOLOGUE

Today I have so many reasons for missing you, sis.

I could easily blame you, but do not do so because

I know the path I myself have taken and how strong a pull

boundaries have had on me. It was a day in February,

like today. Fresh, with mist hanging in the air. I came into

the room and you were lying on the sofa. Your face was

cold, your arms at your sides. This could have happened

any day. Every evening we were afraid of the night,

every morning we feared the day. Everything has its

appointed time, as you knew. Leaves fall when their time

to fall has come. But you anticipated your time.

You have violated the laws of nature, and what

is worse, the silent agreement we had with each other.

We were to hold out together, no matter how dark

and winding the paths were that we took. We were

to save each other at all times, but I have not been able

to hold you back. Each time someone left you, you wanted

to leave the whole world. Like father once wanted to throw

your doll out the window, you threw yourself out of life.

I could have forgiven you everything, but not this act

since it it so irrevocable. I miss you. I miss your face,

your arms, your birthday cards. And I blame you today,

because you left us like no one ever left you.